from my notebook

My head is full of thoughts, and I have to write them down.

A Little Marriage Advice

This is not a topic I tend to write about, but I have learned a few things in my almost 30 years of marriage. There are a couple of common mistakes people make when getting married. One is realizing their spouse has problems that they intend to change. That almost never happens. Another is thinking they are a perfect match just the way they are and nothing will ever change.

The truth is we all change and evolve throughout our lives, hopefully in a positive way. I saw this plaque in a gift shop over the weekend, and the next to last line really jumped out at me.

The Art of Marriage

Most of what is written here we’ve heard before many times, but not so much on this particular line. Marriage “is giving each other a safe place in which to grow.” Your partner’s interests may change dramatically over the course of their lives. Their personality will most likely change too. Make sure you give your spouse the freedom to grow into a better person and focus on doing the same yourself.

You should never be afraid of this growth. Many divorce decrees state the reason as something to the effect of “growing apart.” But if you allow each other to grow into the people God has designed you to be, your growth will bring you closer together not apart.


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